Monday, August 22, 2005

Tenerife August 2005

Whoa!! What a holiday! High octane stuff! Overall, I would say I was very impressed with Tenerife, however, I must say that I prefer Gran Canaria (absolutely legendary holiday in 2004; the Kasbah Centre RULES) , when it comes to the Canary Islands. There is a fair bit to do on the island and weather is beyond hot. I stayed in Puerto Santiago in the North of the island. Here are some of my personal highlights

1) The Girls. OMFG! The first thing I noticed when I step out of the airport was the females. I have been to many places all over the world including Spain (numerous times), Jamaica, Cuba, the USA and the two Canary Islands mentioned earlier, however, this was the first time ever that the fit girls dramatically outweighed the mingers. I've never seen anything like it. Apparently I should go to the Dominican Republic for even better results.

2) My mates. I met quite a few people on this holiday. We all met in the obligatory game of football at the hotel. Firstly there was Dave, who goes to Liverpool Uni; he's studying Computing (geek). Secondly there was Andy from Leighton Buzzard (MK as far as I'm concerned). Last but by no means least there was Nick from Saints. They got all the reps and stuff to sing Happy Birthday, which they didn't have to do, they'd only known me three days at the time. They were all good lads and they deserve a "shout out"

Andy, a bit sunburnt! (my sisters fancied him). Nearly got a holiday bird but then had to go home!

Dave. Tried to pull my sister (failed miserably!!) Tried to steal Nick's girl and shagged a girl called Daniela. Bear in mind that my German holiday bird Lisa and her friends refered to her as "The Olga". Make of that what you will. Lol.

Nick, his catchphrase esp. for Dave was "Actual Prick" (Dave tried to get with Nick's holiday bird Jana, much comedy ensued)

3) My 18th Birthday. This took place on Saturday 6th August (put it in your diaries!) Much alcohol was consumed (free of course, keeping with tradition). Taught someone (you know who you are) how to throw-up pursposefully. Met some birds; it was all good. Met some other girls, it was even better. All in all a good birthday.

4) Sven. Sven was one of the reps at the hotel. The reason why he stood out is because he was this stoner, Dutch, of course ;), you could NEVER tell the difference between when he was stoned and when he wasn't. Funny shit seriously. The culmination was when Sven and this Scottish squaddie (fought in Iraq too) started skinning up in Sven's room. If you're ever in Tenerife look out for him; he'll be the one who's "buzzin' off his tits"... (a phrase we taught him)

5) The Germans. Met these three German girls from Nuremberg. I must admit, they did sorta defy some stereotypes about German's (they were fit as fuck). I pulled this girl called Lisa. But (big but) they couldn't hold down a decent conversation in either English of German. Oh well at least I managed to find out that my GCSE German wasn't in vain (got me much further than my German Teacher said it would, who needs Law with German!). Tschuss Wiebke, Kadda und Lisa! You were fit as, and Lisa you were lovin' it on the beach...

6) Playa Las Americas. The place to be in Tenerife, loads of shit goin on. A definite if you make the trip to the island

7) Freebird catamaran trip. This was quality, we set sail into the Atlantic ocean and had a look at dolphins and whales. Although it makes me sound like a girl it was very good. Check it out if you're in Play Las Americas

8) Italian Kevs/Chavs. They most certainly exist. One evening some Italian kevs wearing only the finest Dolce and Gebanna started on one of my sisters after she wouldn't pull one of them. One of them called her a "bitch" and it all got a bit silly. One of "il chavvos" broke a bottle threatening to use it against us. However, he broke it the wrong way, i.e. broke the bottle neck off and held the main body (twat!!!). I diffused the situation and got away as I didn't want them to get hurt by one of these knobheads (Plus I didn't want to get arrested for being in a fight; did you know that the police had beat the shit out of you if they think you've been drinking and you give them any lip. Fuck that.

9) Tenerifian Timekeeping. On the last day, I was due to board the coach to Tenerife South Airport at 10:10 with a flight at 1:10. Bearing in mind that the journey from the airport took about an hour, I believed that there would be ample time for my family and I to get to the airport and check-in without rushing.
HOW WRONG WAS I! The coach came at 9:45 and left without us! Thinking that it must have been and earlier bus for an earlier flight we waited in the lobby... half an hour passed... an hour passed. Worry started to set in. (My mom had work the following day (wounded) and I had results on the Thursday). There were no other flights to BHX until the following Sunday. At around 11.30, the bus came. It turns out it was the same fucking bus as earlier. On board the coach there were dozens of fuming passengers; it wasn't pretty. We went all over the island to pick up the passengers who the driver had forgot to pick up; most of them had been forced to take taxis to avoid missing flights. I got to the airport at 12.35 and checked in by the narrowist of margins... phew

Moral of the story, don't book a holiday with Thompsons, they recieved a lot of complaints on that day. Not surprising either.

Anyway, I'm definitely not going to let something like that spoil what was a very enjoyable (and eventful) holiday!



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